purple elephant

today’s different though, woke up in such a bad mood, even after she tried calming me down i didn’t feel like going to work, but i must fight this laziness within me… as i drove down from oblivion, i saw a few big “birds” and that made me smile.

I’m going to KK this Christmas, and not sure if i’m coming back before or after new year… if it was up to me, i dun wanna come back.. i miss the beach.. its the only thing that will cheer me up… i miss the sea…

the best things of next year is Sarawak… she’s bringing me to Sarawak for holiday in January and my tazy’s coming back in February… i can’t wait…

for your sake Papa, i’m writing his name somewhere in here… Anwar Ibrahim is gonna be around.. hehe.. i have no political views… like my dad always say its the government themselves who lost the people, it has nothing to do with anyone else… we’ve become fickle minded when it comes to the government, its corrupted to a point that it cannot cover it’s own messy shit.. and when they do, its so obvious… we’re not the same mindless followers as we used to be…

Ouh well, i’m eating bihun and stuffing my face with leftover karipap that everyone doesn’t want… No point in wasting…

I miss u papa… truly, can’t wait for u to pick me up…

i mean his wife, Liza is, but who cares.. they’re both pregnant and i’m gonna be an aunt… Auntie Lala… i can’t wait!!! 24/04/2008, whoever u will be may Allah bless you and enrich your awaiting future… Auntie lala tak sabar nak jumpa!!! *hugs and kisses* for u even u’re not here yet!!! I’m so happy for Faizal & Liza, may Allah bless your life and marriage til the end… so happy… lalalalalalala

I’m going to learn to live without her. All i pray is she does well with what she chose to live with and travel wise to her unknown future. There are times i’m worried about how she would do. I’ve taken care of what i could for her and now i have to learn to take care of myself. i know for certain it will not be hard because i’ve got friends and family who cares, new friends who are constantly telling me that they’ll be there for me, old friends who are watching over me, and best friends who are available for me without a doubt, near or far.

I’ve started to hang out with new people, people who make me laugh, whom i feel like i’ve known my whole life. People will think i’m running away i suppose,that i can’t deal with the reality, but my heart– my heart seem to want happyness. And this happyness, i found her in another form. She’s someone i found in the midst of all confusion and anger. She’s someone that i know i can look up to, i can talk, i can hug, and cry. She’s someone who appreciates me even if its the smallest thing that i do, i’ve never felt so appreciated. She’s my happyness. She’s the key to my freedom and all that’s good within me.

I’ve sacrificed enough for someone i cared about, and now all i want is happyness, i want to learn to stand on my own, breathe on my own, i have to learn to take care of myself. I have to learn to know what to do with my free time. All i’ve done was kept myself busy with WORK, WORK and more WORK.

Now i’ve got her by my side and there’s nothing else i would ask.

… it was long overdue, and when it finally happened… we can breathe again…

we broke up (26 june 2008) i let her go (8 august 2008)

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…